Like many others, I have an irrational fear of spiders, but (possibly unlike many others) I also find them weirdly attractive. Like maybe a car crash, or a particularly ignorant string of comments from an evil troll, or like a… Like a terribly fascinating spider that you can’t look away from because you’re convinced that the instant you do, it will open a portal into the Void Beyond All Things and use its demonic powers to grow ten-thousand times its size and consume you like the delicious hors d’oeuvre you know deep down that you are. You get the idea.

So when Fraser came to me with the news that “there’s a green and black Nope by the garbage cans” I naturally had to go and see.

I grabbed my phone to take pictures, but I could not capture the spider’s topside because he insisted on hanging out on the underside of his web. I did the best I could though. Here are some pictures of spiderbutt.

We looked it up, and it is apparently an Orchard Orb Weaverleucauge-venusta. News flash, Mr. Spider: my garbage cans are not fruit trees. Skitter on back home so I don’t have nightmares about you finding your way into my bedroom!