The sweet smell of revenge. And flowers. But mostly revenge.

Dear Internets,

Here is a picture of a pansy.

20140723-141817-51497873.jpg

Why are you posting a picture of a pansy? You may well ask. If you were to ask, I would congratulate you on your masterful use of alliteration and then I would tell you. I’ve been wronged.

It all started fairly innocently when I noticed this pansy facing me as I ate breakfast this morning. I watched it for a minute. It watched me back. I waited for it to look away, but it did not. I looked down and away for a minute in case the pansy thought I was being rude and staring. When I looked back, the pansy still had not turned away!

I have been informed that it is not in the nature of pansies to be rude. I have even been told that pansies are both physically and emotionally incapable of rudeness.

Well pansy, staring is rude. Since this pansy maintained an unbroken stare with me the entire time I was eating my breakfast, and since I have it on good authority that pansies are unfailingly polite, I can only assume that this particular pansy was being paid to spy on me. Probably by a spy-der.

So I figured I’d up the ante from simple staring to electronic surveillance and I took it’s picture. Now I’m posting that picture on the internet. Take that pansy! How does it feel to have your privacy invaded? Not very good, eh?

That’s why it’s rude. I hope you’ve learned your lesson, pansy.

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Posted on July 23, 2014, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. Anyone claiming that all pansies are unfaillingly polite has clearly never met a Johnny Jump Up. Those guys are downright nervy I tell you. Maybe your purple pansy has been hanging around with the wrong sort.

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