Frogs have no sense of self preservation.
I was walking to school along the path by the woods the other day, and I had gotten to almost the end when about 3 feet away from me I spotted a large frog.
Having had occasion to recently experience their instinctual anti-survival skills, I decided that I would stop and let the frog startle and hop past me rather than trying to step around the frog and ending up with the thing stuck to the bottom of my shoe (this has not happened yet, but only because I have employed sudden stops and swerves to avoid nasty squished frog shoes. If the frogs had their way, I would have stepped on at least 4 of them by now.)
So the frog sees me and goes ‘ack, a human!’ and predictably (against all sense) hops toward me.
I decide to employ a strategy of sudden stop followed by a lack of movement.
The frog continues with its strategy of hopping toward me in order to get away.
I continue to stand still.
The frog hops onto my shoe.
I continue to stand still, reasoning that soon the frog will grow weary of its new perch and hop off and away
Alas, the frog continues in its attempt to hop toward me. Since it is now standing on my shoe, this means it is attempting to hop up my pantleg.
The frog’s motto is apparently ‘When at first you don’t succeed, try try again’
The frog attempts again to hop up my leg.
The frog rebounds off my knee and lands back on my shoe.
The frog one more time just to see if the same thing will happen.
I take a quick shuffle step to the side.
The frog misses my leg (third time’s a charm) and hops off into the bushes. Finally.
…on the other hand, maybe I misread the frog. Maybe it was actually a Prince transformed into a frog by an evil fairy. Maybe it was hoping to hop up, land on my knee, hop up again, give me a quick kiss on the lips, transform into a handsome Prince and whisk me off into a sparkling world of castles and sunsets. This is why I’m not royalty yet. I just don’t recognize opportunities when they’re in front of me.